I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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