I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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