whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
wanna go halves on a baby?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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