I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
