He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
