i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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