Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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