I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
