He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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