You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize