this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It was confusing and full of hummus
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
