Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
