so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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