tell your sister to shave her snatch
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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