i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize