I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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