Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
