I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
