He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
