69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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