i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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