I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
