Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
