Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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