Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
