Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
