What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
