I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
