Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize