is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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