3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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