She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
