I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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