operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
