I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
