When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
