my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
