babies were throwing up all over the place
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
