He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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