would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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