Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
