am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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