my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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