# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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