Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
