I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
