wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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