After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
