just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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