Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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