It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
