Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
