I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
