do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
did i just pee glitter
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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