I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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