The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
