Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Everyone says I win the strip club
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
