There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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