I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
