I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
