You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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