I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Your tits are I can't wait for
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
