HIV tests are more positive than that guy
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
organizing the empties. That sober.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
