Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
