I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
