I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize